I'm a bit angry right now, see if you can spot why

So, I haven't told you much about the new place since we moved about 3 months ago. Let me rectify that right now.

It's an apartment. In a highrise. In downtown Vancouver. Actually, to be more specific, we're in Yaletown. With a view of a marina, little bits of English Bay and downtown. There's a balcony and we're on a rather high floor. I used to get vertigo when I went out on the balcony, but now after being here for a few months, I'm cured. C'mon! Try to find me with just that information!

You can't do it. Just take my word for it.

Yesterday I did what normal people call errands, but what I call severe annoyances that force me to stop reading the internet and interact with real human beings. Never once can I leave the privacy and comfort of my own home without having someone make me swear at them. Sure, I generally swear at them under my breath, after they've walked past me or from the driver's seat in my car, which, unless I have all the windows down and I'm screaming, means they can't hear me over the excessive volume of my awesome stereo. I am always a treat in person, I am. On my way out, I locked the deadbolt on the front door because the only people that can get to our floor are other people that live on the same floor and the concierge. I've seen my neighbors, and while they may look harmless and un-criminal to you, I know at least one of them has a dog who would like to slobber all over my poor unsuspecting cat. And that concierge guy? Well, now he's a charmer. As I took a few steps away from the door towards the elevator, I heard something hit the hallway carpet. I looked down and saw a key fob. A key fob that would let people into the building and up to my floor. Perhaps a key fob that used to be hanging on my keychain? Huh. Weird. As I picked it up and examined my keychain, I determined the fob was the one that had previously resided with my keys and went to the desk of the charming concierge.

This is kind of how the conversation went.

"Hi, sorry to bother you ... while you're chewing your lunch without closing your mouth. By the way, sir, that's gross. Please stop it now or I may lose my lunch right here on this counter top, and I think we can both agree that no one needs to see that."
"Yes, how can I do nothing at all to help you, dear?"
"Well see, this is the key fob here that used to be on my keychain. It appears that the superb manufacturing in this, the best engineered piece of plastic, has somehow failed. I would like to trade this useless piece of junk in for something that will dangle from my keychain. Please?"
"Twenty bucks."
"Sorry?"
"It will cost you twenty bucks."
"Twenty bucks for you to chew your lunch with your mouth closed? That's highway robbery!"
"No, you prat, twenty bucks for a new superbly manufactured piece of plastic to hang off your keychain that I promise will break within a year."
"How about you just swap me out one that works and isn't broken and we call it a deal?"
"No."
"Huh."
"Twenty bucks. AND a letter from the owner of the apartment that you're allowed to have a fob to the apartment."
"You mean, I need proof to have access to the apartment in which I legally live and ALREADY HAVE ACCESS TO?"
"Also, twenty bucks."
...
...
"Fucking joker."

AAAAAHHHHGGGGGHHHHH